So yes, we make fun of our parents every time they need help on the computer. Then furtively ask Siri how to boil an egg. If this is you too, bookmark this page and stick it to Siri. We swear there's a certain smugness to that electronic tone anyway.

Here are 5 of the things you "should" know how to cook by now

Poaching an Egg

Scrambled or fried we have it down. For some reason though, poaching an egg still seems to elude us. Follow these simple tricks to ensure your morning avo eggs are entirely 'grammable.

  1. Firstly, use a shallow frying pan, rather than a saucepan.
  2. Boil water until it is almost boiled, but not quite and let it simmer in the pan.
  3. Before it comes to a boil, crack the egg carefully into the water. Or if you want to be really extra, crack it into an egg cup first, before easing it into the pan.
  4. We find that 3 minutes is the perfect amount of time for a soft yolk but cooked white.
  5. Use a slotted spoon to remove the egg and drain any excess water.

Dicing an Onion...without crying

We can definitely chop an onion...just not that neatly. Or without tears streaming down our cheeks like we've just watched The Notebook. 

  1. A sharp knife and solid chopping board are a necessity here. The old wive's tale of popping a teaspoon in your mouth to ward off tears, actually works. Don't mind anyone laughing at you, you don't need an audience. This is serious business.
  2. Place the onion on the board and cut off either end. Not too much, just the dry bits.
  3. Chop the onion length ways and peel off the skin.
  4. Put the flat side down and make vertical cuts, leaving a cm at one end uncut.
  5. Turn horizontally and chop that way.
  6. Repeat on the other half.

Baking a Potato

Again, deceptively simple, but is it just us or do baked potatoes take 3 hours to make and then still taste under-cooked?

  1. Golden Rule: prick the potato skin with a fork. Apparently they can explode if you don't...who knew?
  2. Smother in olive oil and salt.
  3. Pop in the microwave for 5 minutes to soften.
  4. Skip the tray or tinfoil and place directly on the oven rack.
  5. Bake for 35-40 minutes at 200C.

Melting Chocolate

We're mostly just amazed that you've resisted the urge to eat all of this chocolate already. If you could let us know how, that would be much appreciated. Answers by carrier pigeon please.

  1. Step away from the microwave. That is exactly how to burn valuable chocolate...and that would just be a catastrophe.
  2. Break chocolate into pieces and place in a heatproof bowl.
  3. Place bowl over a pan of barely simmering water (a bain marie - get you!) and allow to melt.
  4. Stir occasionally. Don't burn your tongue while tasting.
  5. Leave to cool slightly, but not set.

Boiling Rice

Yes really. This one we don't have or need an excuse for. Does anyone really know how to make non-soggy rice? Or measure it correctly so that you are't starved or alternatively, left with enough to last you until Christmas?

  1. Measuring: Stick to half a cup of uncooked rice per person. It doubles in size when cooked.
  2. Boil water in a saucepan, doubling the water to rice ratio. ie: half a cup of rice = add a full cup of water.
  3. Add a teaspoon of salt into the water before adding the rice.
  4. Stir just once to separate and place lid on pan.
  5. Turn the heat down to the lowest setting and allow to simmer for approx. 18 minutes.
  6. Remove from heat and leave to steam in pot for another 5 minutes.
  7. Fluff rice with fork, just before serving.