A polarizing debate for sure, but breaking up with someone is hard so we're weighing up the pros and cons of ghosting versus the slow fade method.
There are arguments for and against peeling Band-Aid off slowly and ripping it off!
Before we get into this, let's acknowledge the fact that both ghosting and slow fading have bad reputations and quite rightly so – both inevitably hurt but both happen. If you’re not into someone, the best course of action is to gently let them know you’re not feeling a romantic connection, but that's not always as easy as imagined.
So, how do you go about deciding whether your break-up style is more 'Casper The (Not So) Friendly' or more 'Ever-The-Back-Burner'? These Pros Vs Cons lists might help...
The Ghosting Method - PROS
- Ghosting leaves nothing to question, according to those on #TeamGhost. It can be the easiest and most painless way (for the breaker-upper) to let someone know you’re not interested.
- Being ignored hurts, but at least it sends a clear message, right? With ghosting, intentions become clear sooner rather than later, and the ghostee is free to move on as soon as they’re ready.
- Also, with ghosting, it can feel less personal. You get the chance to blame the fizzling out completely on the uninterested party and their short attention span.
The Slow Fade Method - PROS
- #TeamSlowFade are convinced their method is the most humane way to break up with someone when the occasion calls for it,
- In this, no labels, online dating era, the social etiquette has changed, with more people jumping into undefined relationships and enjoying the perks of them. If the relationship didn't ever need to be clarified, why should the breakup?
- Plus, a big heart-felt speel could be totally unnecessary when it's just a casual fling. Slow Faders aren't about giving a big detailed explanation when he/she could be thinking, “Uh, okay? I’ve actually got seven other people on the side, but thanks for the heads up.”
- Lastly, it keeps lines of communication open, should you ever want to go back there in the future. Faders are fickle folk, clearly.
The Ghosting Method - CONS
- Once ghosting happens in a relationship, there's no real coming back - for either party involved, even if they have a change of heart. The saying Bye Felicia comes to mind....
- Ghosting permeates ghosting. It proves to the other person that it’s okay for people to ghost, and then, in turn, they'll do it to other people too. The cycle of ghosting will continue, and that basically sucks.
The Slow Fade Method - CONS
- The Slow Fade can leade confusion and questions. When you’re ghosted, at least you get to say, "Oh, that a**hole ghosted me, their loss!" and all of your friends will agree. You can move on and compartmentalize this person in your head, while the slow fade can make you doubt yourself, rather than the cowardly Fader.
- The Fadee probably is aware of what's going on the entire time. The Fader thinks they're being discreet, gradually becoming less and less available, but anyone who's remotely emotionally intelligent will feel it coming.
The Hard Truth
It's never fun to get dumped, but if you keep your head held high and handle the situation with grace and maturity, you'll be the one who comes out on top — and then it's onto the 'Thank You Next' one.