When it comes to making the move from digital to real-life, sooner or later you have to ask yourself - is this ever going to go anywhere? No matter how witty someone is on Tinder, none of it's real until you’ve met in person.
We’ve officially reached a point in society, where dating apps have become the standard way to meet people. There are still a few urban myths about those lucky few who meet 10/10s via friends-of-friends, but mostly, it comes down to nothing but persistent swiping and luck.
While the ability to connect with a virtually endless sea of like-minded singles is an amazing thing, treacherous those waters can quickly turn, so it is important to do some dm-ing and in-app chatting to check for any behavioural red flags that'll save you a lot of trouble down the line; like job, location, whether he can reply on time or not, and how likely he is to murder you and wear your skin.
And messaging habits say a lot. If they lack consistency, they often dip out of conversations without a closer, or they straight up don't respond to you for days, then this is typically a sign that their interest level may be lower than it should be.
Your time is precious, so why waste perfect conversation on a mediocre match?
Equally, it's totally possible that they are just a bad texter, and that meeting in the flesh could change that. But again, it might not.
So, at what point do you have to call it and suggest meeting IRL or unmatch and move on? Here's what the experts say...
“If either of you hasn’t suggested a meet-up after a week and a half of chatting then you don't have any momentum,” says dating expert Holly Bartter who runs Matchsmith.com, a dating editing service that helps clients polish their profiles to attract more matches.
She warns that if a date hasn’t been arranged by this strict deadline, you’re wasting your time.
“If you chat for longer than a week and a half then you start moving into pen pal territory,” she says. “And then if you do get to a date it’s going to be awkward because you will have gone over everything already. You want to keep up that excitement.”
Holly also says that even if you do drag things out longer than the golden week-and-a-half deadline, he is either going to cancel on you, or you’re going to cancel on him. Obviously, neither of you really cared that much about each other or you’d try harder to meet.
But if you do arrange to meet up IRL...
It’s best to make a plan for that weekend or the next week because anything later means it will probably never happen. Once your plans are set though, and instead of simmering and being all cute on the dating app, you should give them your number, so you can text each other in the days leading up to your date.
Switching from chatting on a dating app to Whatsapping a few days before the meet up will make it feel like you’re building to something. You’ll be able to have long conversations that won’t feel like you’re talking to ten other people at the same time. Plus, GIFs, hello?!