We got a new official couple from with Josh and Kaz, new Jack wasn't having a bar of Laura and we lost two....who we hardly noticed anyway tbh. 

We left the islanders having dinner and Laura’s heart couldn’t take anyone so she left before pudding. Which is fair enough. Everybody was full anyway and those thing bikinis aren’t forgiving. The girls, well some of them, scramble around to support her. 

Jack is de briefing that lads and old Jack who seems to think he’s king of the boys is talking crap. The islanders all come back for dessert, we can only presume they were directed to do so by the producers. 

We’re gonna put it out there, Jani are a bit of a boring couple. They’re a bit blah, we get it you love each other but try be a bit more entertaining. Cute tho.


"I'm that girl." Dani is too cute! #LoveIsland

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There’s very little love at poor Laura’s table. Jack hopes they can be friends, Laura is just sitting there looking very lost. You okay hun? 

Meg and Wes fully signed up to the do bits society. It felt right to Megan, the whole night was so romantic. Yeah Meg, banging in a room you share with 6 other couples is the height of romance.  

Gracie - she’s the blonde girl coupled up with Dr.Alex - has seen an opportunity with new Jack and has decided to start grafting him. The newbie are cross dating. They’re like a hybrid of the old islanders. 

Georgia, who is still a head wreck decides to make up with Ellie. Jesus even Georgia's voice annoys us now. Okkkkkkaaaay babe. Ellie is just as over G as we are, she literally just sat there looking at Georgia, no emotion. 

Gracie, who’s a hairdresser is using her snipping talents to get hands on with the boys, mostly Jack. Laura has seen the signs and is thinking she might up her grafting game. Meanwhile Grace is flat out giving Jack a new fade. She’s actually a funny girl. 

If you ever see Grace hanging around your local hospital. RUN! #LoveIsland

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Sam and Georgia are getting serious, well as serious as two people who behave like toddlers. Georgia likes “choccie milk”, Sam likes to get it for her. What is this shit? 

Kash are heading out for a date and Josh wants to do the deed. Ask her to be his GF. In fairness we’d be excited to get out of the garden too. The producers pop them in the middle of a field and shoot a few slow mo’s. The talk Thai and Christmas as they’re eating alive by midgets. The romance is killing us. 

Josh and Kaz are official! 😍❤️ #LoveIsland

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Josh goes for it, with the sunset behind them and a box of anti histamine on order he asked Kaz to be his girlfriend. We’re happy for Kash. 

It’s time to dolly up for, another night in the garden. Laura is seeking love advice from Dr.Alex. Laura sees Jack and Grace chatting and feels like she’s going to throw up in her mouth. Which is grand, he’ll hook you up with a prescription for an your upset tummy, but he’ll be fuck all good at love advice. 

Samira and Frankie are getting on well. We know, nobody really cares. Anyone else get the feeling she's faking it?

Got a text! 

Two new boys are en route but to make space, two are shipping out. It’s been a fairly boring episode up to this so we’re excited to see who’s gonna go. It’s a hard one to call.  

The public have been voting for their favourites and the three girls who are at risk? Megan, Grace and Ellie. 

The boys, Frankie, Charlie and Josh! What the ....?!? Josh!!! 

Grace got the fewest votes so she’s shipping out and the boy - please don’t be Josh - is Frankie. We’ll be honest, we’re not really too bothered. Poor Samira is gutted though. Also, how the fuck was Georgia safe?!?! 

Off Grace and Frankie go, poor Samira is in bits. 

There’s two new boys strutting in, did we get the Wes has a twin memo?! There’s a chap with him wearing leggings. Let the good times roll, oh and show the bloody tape.

Suzanne Kane is a broadcaster who has worked for some of the most prominent radio stations in the country. Along with her radio and television roles, Suzanne teamed up with top Irish comedian PJ Gallagher to host Dubland The Podcast, which has reached number one on the iTunes comedy chart with subscribers all over the world. For more information visit suzisays.com.